Missing Miss Natalie

I haven't seen my daughter in 4 days... It's the first time she's away from home and the longest we've been apart.

It's the school holidays and we were in Ipoh last weekend for the 3rd and final leg of Val's wedding celebrations - the requisite meal at Public restaurant and beyond doubt, the most gastronomic feast of all. We were about to make our way back to KL when Nat announced that she wanted to stay with Por Por and Kung Kung for her "holiday school".

I was mighty proud that she was showing such autonomy but cautious about her feeling unwanted, I kept asking if she really wanted to stay and reassuring her that she could come back with us if she so chose. She seemed a little torn between wanting to stay and leaving with us but finally stayed put and happily waved us off on our journey.

As our car turned the corner, my heart suddenly went to shreds, acknowledging her absence. Hubby felt similarly but stressed that just as she had to learn to be independent, we too, had to learn to let go.

Worst thing is, we're missing her more than she does us. I'm the one who keeps calling to make sure everything's ok and she's... well, she's having the time of her life being spoilt rotten by her grandparents! There was one night though, when after talking to me, she started screaming and wouldn't stop. Mum's theory was that she became emotional hearing my voice but didn't want to start crying, big ego and all... so started screaming instead.

I do feel liberated though. I've not had the freedom to do as I please in a long while. Not to mention I have had a few peaceful nights in the bedroom. She can be so noisy when preparing for bedtime that she often wakes her brother up and I have to quickly turn off the bedside lamp so he'll go back to sleep.

This Saturday, I'll be making a trip to Ipoh just to pick her up. Don't think I can stand being separated any longer than 7 days for now.

Mama's so looking forward to have you home, sweetheart!