Motherhood 101

It's been 3 weeks & 4 days since I became a mummy. How do I feel? Overwhelmed, but extremely satisfied at the same time. I dunno... words simply do not suffice.

Nat is indeed a treasure (from God, no less) and I love her with every fibre of my being. It's true what they say that you'll never completely fathom the depths of your own mother's love until you become one yourself. That's why in the first few days of her existence I found myself shedding tears both out of joy of having given birth to something so beautiful and also out of understanding and gratitude for the love my mum has shown me and Val all these years.

I can also see hubby's adoration growing for her by the day from the amount of photos he has taken of her. Imagine a grown man cooing “She looks so cute! I wanna dress her up like a bunny!”. Mummy's getting a little jealous 'coz before I had to actually ask him to take pictures of me when we're on holiday and now he's snapping away like crazy even if she's just lying there doing nothing!

The confinement experience has not been too bad thus far. Barring grimy hair and an overdose of sesame oil, I've managed to comfortably stick to most of the dos and avoid the don'ts. (Oh, alright! I do admit to washing my hands with water straight out of the cold water tap sometimes). However, I've not really felt the urge to go outdoors nor crave for hawker food (or any food without the requisite lashings of sesame oil, ginger & rice wine for that matter) for the past few weeks. But with Christmas just around the corner, I did feel the tiniest itch yesterday to just drive to 1U and get started on my yuletide shopping. After all, hubby's been saying we should get a Christmas tree this year and I thought I'd better strike while the iron is hot before he changes his mind.

Having said that, my experience with the confinement nanny was a different thing altogether. The day before I left the hospital, my original confinement nanny called to say she had been taken ill & couldn't do the job, at least till she recovered. Panic-stricken, I called Elaine, An Pheng's wonderful confinement nanny, for help and sure enough, she came through with a replacement.

Ying Jie looked and sounded the part but after a few days, it was obvious that she was more than a tad lazy and exploiting our inexperience as first-time parents. For starters, she didn't want to use cloth diapers nor handwash Nat's clothes and kept insisting on nighttime formula-feeding. Her insinuations that I had hardly any milk to give and how the other babies she had looked after were all so chubby really irritated the shit out of me since I was trying so hard to exclusively breastfeed. If my baby's going to be fat, it will be from the calories of my own milk and nothing else!

She also wasn't taking good care of me nor was she very hygienic when it came to cleaning Nat. Not only that but every time she carried her, it looked like she was manhandling a pig about to be butchered. Heck, she even fibbed about her workdays, telling me she works only 28 days when I later found out that Elaine had told her it was strictly 29 days or no deal. It was so not worth all the good money we were paying!

In the end, things worked out wonderfully when she developed a sore throat and later, a cold, and left after a week. Hurrah! We decided we'd had enough of confinement nannies for the timebeing. Thank God I managed to borrow Su, my dad's Indon maid to help immediately after Ying Jie's departure. She's no Aunty Parvathy but at least she's able to cook and for now appears to love caring for Nat. No complaints about waking up in the middle of the night either.

As for feeding, I'm proud to say that apart from the first 2-3 nights when Ying Jie insisted on feeding formula, I've been able to exclusively breastfeed and intend to do so for at least 6 months. My inspiration stems from those friends who successfully pulled it off, namely Wai Kuan, An Pheng, Flora and Yvonne. Hats off to all of you ladies! Of course I wasn't one of those who had ample supply right from the start so it was easier said than done in the beginning. Desperate to continue, sore nipples or not, I tried every breastmilk-supply enhancing suggestion in the book: turmeric juice, baby shark, papaya soup, fenugreek, milkmaid tea, groundnut/blackbean soup, you name it, I've tried it. My mummy friends kept telling me, just let the baby suckle and the milk will come. True enough, it did!

Now that my confinement period is almost over, I'm bracing myself for the next step... going back to work and the dread that comes with it. I so do not want to be separated from my baby!!! Wish I could be a full-time mum but unfortunately, we are far from being able to afford that luxury. Ah well, at least my consolation is that I can bring my daughter in to work if I want and my boss will probably dote on her too but how I'll get any work done is anyone's guess.

So am I ready for motherhood? You bet!